I'm getting too lazy for this

Then again, we're all getting too damn lazy for a lot of things. My favorite example is the people who stand in line for the escalator ignoring the 10 steps next to it...



It's OK, though. They probably all just got back from a flight and their arms are tired or some other lousy excuse for a joke. Clearly I'm a sad example of what to follow in terms of "can do" attitude.

So right now, I'm in my apartment and it's 90 degrees in here. The back door is wide open and the fan is on blowing in the cooler outside air. When you're busy pumping 80 degree air into an apartment to cool it off, you might be fucked. So I'm sitting here on my couch next to the fan, playing a game and a fucking June bug dive bombs my crotch.

Yep, that shit happened.

And now, it's missing....

I can't find the June bug that killed it's engines mid-flight just so it could land on my junk. We're not talking about one of those pansy-ass sized June bugs either; I thought this thing was going to rack me when it "landed." I say "landed" because if you've ever seen a June bug fly it's with a complete lack of grace. Imagine if those large people at Walmart driving the motorized shopping carts were zipping around on ice, cause that's what I think about when I see a June bug flying around.

Anyway, onto something irrelevant. I was in Chipotle today, which is probably my favorite place to eat, and there is one employee there who is entirely too fucking frugal with the food. I'm paying you $6.50 for a burrito of which 90% of the contents are what they eat in third world countries. Granted the other 10% is steak, but c'mon I know Chipotle is making money hand over fist on this shit. And it doesn't matter where in the burrito assembly line she's working, this woman completely throws off the cohesiveness of my burrito. So I'm thinking about how much I hate this woman and this jackass shows up, and starts ordering in Spanish.

First of all, this guy does not speak Spanish as his primary language. He was talking on the phone before he got up to order. Secondly, who the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? You walk into a Chipotle and look around and think, well clearly I'm in Latin America, I must need to order in Spanish. FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE. You speak another language. High-fucking-five. So instead of traveling or joining a fucking group to practice, you walk into Chipotle and just assume that because the people behind the counter look Hispanic, they must speak Spanish, and they clearly want you to speak in their native tongue to order a FUCKING BURRITO.

That's like if a UPS driver showed up to my place to deliver a package and saw that I took my shoes off inside, so he takes his shoes off and comes in. No. Get the fuck out, UPS guy. Take your smelly sneakers with you, you crazy bastard.