See I've been waiting on a rebate check from Sprint for a few weeks now, because I'm broke again. I know, I know, tough to believe, but it's true. Anyway, I take my $100 rebate check up to the counter of the check-cashing area of this grocery store and ask if they'll cash the check because my bank is sixty miles away in the city.
Well, technically the first thing I did was stand there for 30 seconds in line waiting for the two people behind the counter to finish talking about, I don't know, ponies or something, who fucking cares. Of course, by "stand in line" I mean that I was the line. I was standing right there, right in front of two customer service reps while they discussed the weather in Boca. After checking to make sure I hadn't put on the emperor's new clothes this morning I stepped a little closer to the counter, at which point I was actually leaning over into their area. I was no longer trying to get their attention. I now simply wanted to position myself properly to hit the guy in the balls for ignoring me. Unfortunately they finally acknowledged me and I asked them if they would cash the check.
They both looked at my rebate check for a moment. One of them poked it towards the other like it was a dead rat and I was the family dog. "You wanna take that?" he asked her. She looked at it for a second, mentioned some crap about how it was from a bank in Texas, as though Texas had seceded and wasn't really a state to trust anymore.
I was dumbfounded. Mostly because they were treating me like a con-man or a homeless guy from Houston.
Eventually, she decided to cash it. After which I very kindly thanked her and told her I appreciated it, because I realized that even though it was clearly a legitimate rebate check from Sprint, she didn't have to take it. Regardless of how grateful I may have appeared, she shot me yet another look of disapproval.
Well, bitch, fuck you, too. I tried to be nice, but you can shove the shredded remains of this check stub up your wrinkled ass. Knowing how tightly shut your anal cavity is, it will probably fossilize under the pressure and when people whisper, "What's up her ass?" I can proudly exclaim, "A stick! A stick is up her ass."
....
But alas, I only told you that story to tell you why I was in a bad mood. You see, the thing that I originally intended to write about happened last week. My sister and her family recently moved back into town, and I've been rather lethargic in my dealings with them. But when I saw them in a parking lot I was excited to see my niece who I felt as though perhaps I had neglected a little lately. It's partly her fault for being 16 months old, though. When she can finally throw a baseball we're going to get along great.
Nevertheless, I hurried around my sisters car to say hi to her. I poked my head in the back window like I always do to make faces at her while my sister does some boring mom crap, and what do you think is my reward for entertaining this adorable niece of mine? My sister rolls my head up in the fucking window.
Power windows. They roll up quite fast a new Focus. I'm so proud of my niece, too. She didn't even cry as I screamed at my sister that my cranium was being crushed by her lack of attention to details. The detail being that my fucking head was in the window while she was rolling it up, but ya know... easy mistake right? All I can say is I hope that my niece's first memory isn't of my head turned sideways about to explode as I screamed her mother's name in vain over and over praying to the gods of safety glass that it wouldn't break and be pushed upward into my temple. Hooray! Uncle Mike is funny isn't he?
This needs a video of what exactly happened....you might need to reenact it. :)
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