Where's Waldo

I live in a crappy apartment building. I'll say it, "It's crappy." Maybe you haven't heard of Waldo. I hate to say it's an actual place, because as far as I know, I still live inside Kansas City. It's neat... for about 3 blocks. I don't live in those 3 blocks. I live somewhere in Waldo that I don't want to live.

How crappy is it? Well over a month ago some asshole decided that the best way to raise funds for whatever drug addiction they had at the moment was to break into the dryers in the laundry room. All of them. Perhaps I should be more clear, though. You see, they didn't actually take any money. They used a crow bar or some other implement of destruction (see Alice's restaurant for more details) and pried the front metal cover off of the dryers, ripping the electronics to shreds in the process. Which, hey, "A for effort", I would have looked there for the money, too. Yet instead of encountering all of the quarters already pre-rolled and waiting on them, they encountered a thicker, steel-plated box inside of the dryer where all those precious coins hid from their greedy, inexperienced hands.

Hooray for justice, right? No, fuck you. You've just made your first mistake. You've underestimated the level of stupidity (or perhaps you overestimated the level of education -- significantly) of the people here. Instead of coming to the logical conclusion that all of those darned little quarters would be hiding in the same steel box inside each of the dryers, they continued to pry open the front panel on every dryer down there. Now the only thing I can do in the laundry room is pay to get my clothes really wet, and admire four very large piggy banks on my way out.

Let's not forget that it's been over a month since this ill-conceived robbery attempt has taken place. Although I've told the front office about the broken dryers, there they still sit this evening, mocking me. Occam's razor tells me that one of two things happened, depending on how "benefit-of-the-doubty" you want to get here. Either someone wanted those quarters and just didn't have the smarts to piece together that 2 sets of stacked, identical dryers are going to have the same security measures, OR there is a conspiracy around here to shut down anything that reaches temperatures above 110 degrees (see my water heater for more information).

TL;DR (Too long; didn't read) I only wrote this post to provide some background for my next post. Read it.