Ha Ha. Let's play a little game now...

Let's play a little game I like to call "The Pretend Game."

Here's how the pretend game works: You say "Let's pretend that yada yada yada didn't happen." But in the place of yada yada yada you describe something that happened to you that you want to have not happened. Or in some situations, you describe something you want to suppress deep down into your subconscious for five or 10 years.
I'll start. Let's pretend that I didn't wake up two nights ago to someone throwing trash off of their third story balcony. Of course by trash I don't mean a bag of trash. No, sir. Do you think I mean two bags of trash? Nah, not two. Maybe it's more than 10? Yeah, it was more than 10. Well then you may ask how many it was, Mike? and I would have to say, "Well, count with me."




One, two, three... eighty-fucking-five? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!? Do we count the fan? Is that "a" trash or "some" trash? Does each dresser drawer count? Maybe you're a sanitary disposer working for this fine city and you count trash by how many dumpsters it fills. So this would be 1 trash to you. I like to take the approach as the violated neighbor in this situation (cause, well fuck, that's what I am) and count it based on how many parking spaces it takes up. So to me this is two trashes worth of trash.

So all this shit starts hitting the pavement from three stories up at midnight on Sunday, and my first thought is, "Oh yay, someone's fucking shooting again." So I wasted my time crawling around on the floor until I realized it sounded more like someone just throwing shit around. I got up to peak and sure enough, there was an arm throwing one bag of trash every 5 or 10 seconds. That person kept throwing trash --taking a break here and there-- until about 1:45am. I took that picture the next morning when I realized that no one had actually done anything with the trash that night. That surprised me, because I awoke to the sound of the trash truck backing up, and I thought to myself, they must have been moving it to the dumpster in time for trash pick-up.

Why would I have thought that? I'm too fucking logical, that's why. As you can see it was all still there, while just out of the frame of the picture sits the empty dumpster. The worst part is, I know that the trash truck had to drive damn near on top of the garbage to back up to the dumpster to empty it. Did THEY pick it up? Fuuuuuck no. It's not their job. Oh wait. Yes it fucking is.